Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Bachelor Finale 2010 | Watch The Bachelor Finale 2010 | Jake and Vienna Still Together | Vienna Girardi | Jake and Vienna | Jake and Vienna Bachelor | The Bachelor Finale 2010 - Jake Pavelka and Vixen Vienna Girardi (and Sunsets) | The Bachelor Finale 2010 for season 14

The Bachelor Finale 2010 for season 14 has made its way to broadcast television on ABC. Bachelor Jake Pavelka had to make the choice between Vienna Girardi and Tenley Molzhan. The stage was set - it's finally here. The big finale when Jake, our plastic, insincere tool of a bachelor must chose between the virgin and the vixen.

Yes, it’s Holy Water versus Hooters Waitress. It’s hurry up and wait versus hurry up and bang me. It’s hot and wet versus heavenly and wedable and we’re lucky enough to have a courtside seat. Let’s get to it.

***

We begin, as we have the previous eight episodes, with serene sunsets and picturesque views of tropical islands with a voice over from Jake explaining that he’s finally figured out where his heart is and he’s convinced that “what he’s doing is right.”

Nevermind that we will spend the next two hours hearing him hem and haw over his decision; this is the moment. He’s endured awkward exchanges, many kisses, exotic places, and eight heart wrenching rose ceremonies.

***

He’s booted crazy and desperate women and separated the game players from the women here for the right reasons. Only the virginal Tenley and the . . .uh . . . not-so-virginal Vienna remain. We get shots of Jake crying on the balcony followed by Jake experiencing the sheer joy of a waterfall mud rub with Vienna and a presumptuous leg wrap greeting from Tenley.

Clenched and anxious, we all took a sip of our pinot grigio and a bite of cheese and settled in to see what Jake would do. Frankly, the whole thing was a lot like hearing about that German porn that all of your buddies tell you about. It sounds awful, disgusting, and terrible; yet, somehow you have to see it.

***

We begin at Jalousie Bay, St. Lucia with Jake in his carefully planned royal blue v-neck and linen pants throwing rocks into the ocean contemplating his search for true love.

We cut next to Vienna in her ruffley green hide-my-junk-in-the-trunk swimsuit reminiscent of Ed’s green short shorts from last season’s Bachelorette wandering aimlessly on the beach. Apparently, Forever 21 and Just Add Water were out of her bikini size before she left for the show. Tenley is also wandering in her swimsuit on the beach in search of love.

Sigh.

Presumably, both of them were on the lookout for a stray rock thrown by Jake skimming off the ocean. Everyone professes love for everyone else and the set up is complete.


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Tags: watch the bachelor finale 2010, jake and vienna still together, vienna girardi, jake and vienna, jake and vienna bachelor,

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